Pause for thought...

I haven't written anything on here for a while, despite my best intentions.

There is a simple reason for this. It isn't that I have nothing to say, it's that I have too much. I know how difficult it is to read overly long posts, and yet once I start thinking and writing, it's as though floodgates have opened up; I have so many opinions, but I'm unsure that they merit any more space in the world than anybody else's.

Still, here I am again. And I can report that so far, fifty IS fantastic! This is partly because I am still, despite not yet having a regular income from Supply, so relieved to be out of my last job. It's hard to explain but I felt that it was sapping my very soul, and it was obviously right to leave because people keep telling me how 'good' I look - or 'how much younger' and so on.

And I do feel very, very happy. Sure, I have the occasional moment of panic when I wonder just how sensible it was to give up a highly-paid job in a recession - but the signs were there that if I'd stayed, I might have paid my bills more easily but I would certainly not have been in brilliant mental health. It was time for me to put my [lack of] money where my mouth was. I can honestly say that I have not ONCE regretted leaving. The weeks before I went were spent dodging the beginnings of what looked to be shaping into bullying. A much-needed reference was promised, and lied about, and possibly cost me a few weeks' work this term. No matter. The person involved left for the summer holidays fondly imagining that I believed she had done my reference - but I knew she hadn't, and got an alternative. I have no idea why this happened, or how long she had been harbouring such negative feelings towards me, but I am so relieved to be out of there!

So - since then, I have done some teaching, which I have loved. And I've relished every free day as an opportunity to make the most of the beautiful area where I live. I have taken so many photos that my daughters have nicknamed me the Mamarazzi. And I love it. Perhaps that is going to be a part of my work someday?

I've written poetry and a play, and had loads of ideas for stories. I have signed up to the 'NaNoWriMo' site, and that means that during November I have to write a 50,000 word novel. I know I shan't have too much difficulty producing the word count, it's just a matter of how it reads! But it looks fun, a challenge, and an opportunity to meet people.

One resolution I HAVE kept so far is to go for new things, not to let myself listen to that voice which whispers, "Hold back!" Not in a silly way, but if something strikes me as possibly fun or interesting, I'm doing it without making excuses not to. So far this has seen me take a spur-of-the-moment trip down an underground caver in the Peaks, drive to some lovely places for the day, go to a party in a pub where I knew nobody, and accept a couple of invitations which shyness would formerly have prevented me from doing.

So far, so fantastic! :)
P.S. Last time I put up photos I was able to drag them round, this time I can't seem to! I'll get round to it!