Things I've done in my fifties that I've never done before...

Taken a boat trip on an underground river... Been in the audience on Question Time... Stood in for Jack Straw on the pre-show panel whilst they did sound and camera checks... swum in an open-air pool in the Peaks... had great fun doing things during work hours which I couldn't have done if I'd stayed in my previous job... signed up for NaNoWriMo and begun my second novel... been to the local firework display and chatted on the free bus there to some very entertaining young men (high as kites and profane language, but rather likeable somehow).

The list goes on.

Just wanted to touch base!

Pause for thought...

I haven't written anything on here for a while, despite my best intentions.

There is a simple reason for this. It isn't that I have nothing to say, it's that I have too much. I know how difficult it is to read overly long posts, and yet once I start thinking and writing, it's as though floodgates have opened up; I have so many opinions, but I'm unsure that they merit any more space in the world than anybody else's.

Still, here I am again. And I can report that so far, fifty IS fantastic! This is partly because I am still, despite not yet having a regular income from Supply, so relieved to be out of my last job. It's hard to explain but I felt that it was sapping my very soul, and it was obviously right to leave because people keep telling me how 'good' I look - or 'how much younger' and so on.

And I do feel very, very happy. Sure, I have the occasional moment of panic when I wonder just how sensible it was to give up a highly-paid job in a recession - but the signs were there that if I'd stayed, I might have paid my bills more easily but I would certainly not have been in brilliant mental health. It was time for me to put my [lack of] money where my mouth was. I can honestly say that I have not ONCE regretted leaving. The weeks before I went were spent dodging the beginnings of what looked to be shaping into bullying. A much-needed reference was promised, and lied about, and possibly cost me a few weeks' work this term. No matter. The person involved left for the summer holidays fondly imagining that I believed she had done my reference - but I knew she hadn't, and got an alternative. I have no idea why this happened, or how long she had been harbouring such negative feelings towards me, but I am so relieved to be out of there!

So - since then, I have done some teaching, which I have loved. And I've relished every free day as an opportunity to make the most of the beautiful area where I live. I have taken so many photos that my daughters have nicknamed me the Mamarazzi. And I love it. Perhaps that is going to be a part of my work someday?

I've written poetry and a play, and had loads of ideas for stories. I have signed up to the 'NaNoWriMo' site, and that means that during November I have to write a 50,000 word novel. I know I shan't have too much difficulty producing the word count, it's just a matter of how it reads! But it looks fun, a challenge, and an opportunity to meet people.

One resolution I HAVE kept so far is to go for new things, not to let myself listen to that voice which whispers, "Hold back!" Not in a silly way, but if something strikes me as possibly fun or interesting, I'm doing it without making excuses not to. So far this has seen me take a spur-of-the-moment trip down an underground caver in the Peaks, drive to some lovely places for the day, go to a party in a pub where I knew nobody, and accept a couple of invitations which shyness would formerly have prevented me from doing.

So far, so fantastic! :)
P.S. Last time I put up photos I was able to drag them round, this time I can't seem to! I'll get round to it!

My first week as a Supply teacher!

I wanted to tell you about something I think you will find very funny - I bought a cheap, smart skirt at Tesco's before going into the RC school so that I could make a good impression. It is a very nice grey tiny-herring-bone pattern skirt (almost looks plain). I arrived at school at 8.10 and sorted some things out, and then thoguht, "Ooh, best have a wee before the kids come in!"

So off I went, pulled up the skirt, had my wee - and then found coldn't get it back down over my hips! I grinned at first, and then began to panic as, with only about four minutes left, I realised I simply could NOT get it back down! I dunno how I got it up tbh! I quickly ran through the alternatives, dismissed the idea of someone having a spare skirt my size in school, and in any case thought it might not look too professional arriving at the Head's office with my skirt up round my waist and pleading for help! In the end, I decided I HAD to get my arse covered, and see what happened after - I'd just pretend the skirt had been ripped and I hadn't noticed, or something. I yanked it determinedly down, and felt/heard a loud rip. I went cold at the thought that it might be the flap at the back, preparing to give the kids a great view of my bottom all day - felt it, and it was fine. Then I remembered this had happened once before with a Tesco skirt, the lining had been too small and when I took the skirt off at the end of the day, it was ripped to shreds (but the skirt was wearable).

So - I went through the day, trying to wee as few times as possible, and when I got home that evening, gingerly removed the skirt (no problem with that, thank goodness!) only to discover - Nothing! I can't find a rip ANYwhere but I heard it. All I can think of is that the lining was anchored to the skirt somewhere and I'd pulled on that,. Perhaps I just haven't spotted something really obvious. But - once I knew it was ok - the mental image of me struggling in panic to appear fully-dressed on my first full day of Supply teaching was very funny.

On with the show!

After a fabulously glamorous, glitzy Fiftieth Birthday Party, I'm back in the classroom and loving it! :) On Wednesday I had a morning with several mongrel classes who were mixed around to accommodate a Choir rehearsal - PPA teacher was away so I stood in for her half day. I was ushered into the room and told (in front of the pupils) "We do Assertive Discipline here. These are all the children's names, and as soon as they do something wrong, we move them onto the cloud."

The class eyed me miserably, and I said I was sorry to disappoint them, but I didn't really like moving names so would they mind behaving instead? Which seemed to do the trick; we had a happy morning as I explained my total knowledge of the art of Kandinsky (which took about thirty seconds) and talked them through producing abstract art. It was VERY abstract, I'm afraid, but the Head didn't care - he was just glad I'd arrived I think.

Today I've been in a mixed Y4/5 class and I have had a brilliant day. The teacher had been called away suddenly earlier in the week and there was NO planning, which I discovered when I arrived, and I've winged through the day - including an impromptu PE lesson - great fun, and the children thought so too. Mid-afternoon, someone came in to ask if I could return tomorrow and when I said I could, the class began cheering, Very heartening - the sort of feedback I never had in my previous job. Tomorrow is a spelling test and I have no idea what the words are - hopefully somebody will know!

I had an email from the Supply agency saying well done, they'd had good feedback. It struck me that this was the first praise for work well done I've received in about - ooh, eight or nine years. I have to admit, it felt good.

In fact, I feel good. Full stop. I have not ONE regret about leaving. And getting back into the classroom feels like being on a wonderful run through the countryside.

Tonight I've been a PROPER teacher and have been planning till after ten, but I don't mind. Hopefully it will be like having been on crutches - just as I'll never take walking for granted again, so I shall remain grateful for being able to stand in a classroom and teach, nomatter how difficult it might be at times.

So - very happy, particularly as I have belatedly discovered the lido at Hathersage, and spent my last free afternoon swimming in the most beautiful surroundings... a warm sun on my back and the scent of the Peak District trees wafting over the water. Just wonderful! There were about twenty of us in the water, a real camaraderie to be had in the chats as we relaxed after every few lengths of the pool. It was one of those golden afternoons I store up and treasure for future use.